One in a billion
by The Padawan453
Summary: I wouldn't say goodbye, I couldn't say goodbye. But I had to. A/N: Donatello tells us how it is letting go of someone you love.


**Edited this story. Please review :)**

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><p>She was so beautiful. Her laugh was like tiny bells. The way her eyes sparkled like the stars and made my heart skip a beat. First time I saw her, I thought she was an angel. Now, I knew for sure. For every day, every hour, every second, she became more beautiful. Her light could light up even the darkest places. It had lit up my heart and I didn't even know that you could lit up an organ. Scientifically speaking, lighting up a heart was impossible. But then again, love had nothing to do with science.<p>

April smiled and with a confidence only she had, she smacked her hands in the table. "Full house, guys! I win!" Mikey started complaining about the game he clearly didn't understand, Leo sighed and threw his useless card in front of him, and Raph accused the red head of cheating. "Aww, you're mad that you lost to a girl?" April asked. "For the sixth time?"

My big brother with the red mask grumbled and turned his shell to her. That only made April smile even more. I loved her smile. Give me the most stunning view of a sunrise and I would still choose her smile over it. "The game's not over yet, miss O'Neil." Casey Jones. A sixteen year old, smelling street rat with oily hair and yellow teeth. The last member of our little crime-fighting gang. He slowly placed his cards next to April's who dropped her chin. "Not so tough anymore, huh?" Casey asked with a smirk.

It should have been me. Playing poker, sitting next to her. Instead, I was watching them from a dark corner in the lair with no one to comfort me, no one that understood. Even Master Splinter didn't understand. He had lost his daughter and wife to the Shredder, but at least his wife still loved him to the very end. April never loved me. Not for a second.

Not once, had she looked at me the way I looked at her. Not once, had she blushed as I had a thousand times. Not once, had she said something stupid because she was nervous. Not once, not once, NOT ONCE! But maybe it was supposed to be that way. After all, Casey made her happy. I just wished…

"Simple: I'm awesome." Listen to him. Jones had never heard of humility. However, April seemed to like his lack of… everything nice, and kissed him on the cheek. I hold my breath so the humans and my brothers wouldn't hear the whimper of pain, I let out. "Donnie, what are you doing over there?" the human girl asked when she finally noticed me. "Come over here and play with us."

"No, thanks," I replied with all that the voice I could manage. "I'm good over here." I waved with my T-phone and a screwdriver. Not that I had even thought about working on my phone.

I remembered the time before Casey. The many times I saved her with my brothers. When the Kraang kidnapped her and when she fell from the helicopter were just two of many. And I remembered how my crush turned into real love. Sometimes, I allowed myself to think of what could have been. If Casey hadn't turned up. If I had confessed my feelings to her. Tsk, what was I thinking?! She could never love an ugly mutant like me. Our story was like Beauty and the Beast. But in the end of the movie, the Beast turned into a human. I guess our story wasn't like the Disney movie after all.

Pyh, I needed to get some air. With the T-phone in my belt and my bo staff on my back, I left my little dark corner. "Going topside!" The guys wouldn't stop me. They knew whenever April and Casey visited us, my mood was rather… you know. Even Mikey understood that what I was going through was something that he shouldn't talk about. All they did was giving me a simple nod.

On the rooftop, everything seemed easier. No brothers, no Sensei, no Casey. No April. I took a deep breath as if I would suck in all oxygen of earth. And I let it all out with a scream. "WHY?!" Tears began to float from my eyes, as I let out all my frustrations. The universe clearly hated me! It made fall deeply in love and then it broke my heart. Why? For fun? April had never wanted me but when she first introduced us to Casey… She smiled so much that day. It was the first time her smile did not only bring me joy.

Two hours passed on that same rooftop with the same stars and the same moon. Maybe April and Casey was gone now? I jumped into the nearest manhole and walked all the way back to the lair. Just to give them extra time to get out. As usual, the universe decided to torture me and the sight off the humans met me in the doorway. "Oh, hey Donnie," Casey greeted me. "We were getting worried about you but you seem to be fine. April and I are going home now." He smiled at me and I realized something. Maybe he was April boyfriend but he hadn't taken her from me. She was never mine. I still didn't like him, nevertheless, April did. I took the human boy's hand and shook it. "Take good care of April."

He looked a little confused because of my serious voice, "Uhh… yea, of course," but he knew I meant it. "I'll keep her safe."

I nodded to him. My brothers were saying goodbye the the red haired girl but when I walked to her, they left quietly. "Donnie, you came to say goodbye!" she smiled when she saw me.

"Yes, I did."

April gave me a small hug but I hugged tightly when I first got my arms around her. I pressed her to my chest, shot my eyes and nuzzled my cheek in to her red hair. I would never let go.

But I had to.

She loved that sixteen year old, smelling street rat with oily hair and yellow teeth. I had to face it though it hit me like a train at full speed. It hurt so deep, I wasn't sure if it was ever going to stop. Seeds of pain had grown in my soul and scared me for life. I could meet someone new. A girl who would think I was smart, funny and loyal. A girl who would love me. But I could never find someone like April.

"April, you're one in a billion and I want you to know that," I whispered to her ear. "There's not someone like you."

April pushed away and looked at my, with her big, blue, beautiful eyes. "Thank you, Donatello." She gave me a quickly hug and ran to Casey. "See you soon, Donnie!" Then they were gone.

Leo, Raph and Mikey turned back to whatever they had done before the game but I couldn't move. I just stood there, looking at the entrance like an idiot. Silently, I whispered.

"Goodbye, April."


End file.
